North Bay Living

The New "Poor"

2009-09-03T22:20:00.001-07:00

The face of our country's poor has changed.

Remember when poor people were crack babies born to moms that were welfare suckers in the ghetto?

Remember when poor people lived in trailers, drove camaros and got high on meth everyday while wearing fuzzy slippers and rollers at all hours?

See, those were the good ol' days. Our country was mostly rolling in dough, and if you didn't have any, you either were too lazy to work, couldn't sell high-class drugs and you were ghetto/trailer trash. We all know that this stands for "black" and "white" poor people in subtext, but that's another discussion.

But with this recession and the war, the face of the poor has changed. And THAT is why there is higher talk of health care reform and more fervent town hall people who are 90% shouting about nothing.

Poor #1 is MBA guy. He worked for a corporation. He lived a 2-hour commute from the big city, made $400,000 a year and it wasn't enough. He worked for a good company and commuted because it was cheaper to live out in the sub sub suburbs, even though he rarely saw his family b/c he was always at work. He figures in 5 years the sacrifices will be worth it.

The recession hits, and his company, albeit a successful start up, folds. Why? Because the bank they borrowed money from stopped their line of credit.Why? Because they loaned out a lot of money for home loans to people who couldn't afford them. Those loans were chopped up and sold as stock, which is now worthless. So the bank folds. The job folds. MBA man is now jobless. For six months he looks, but the former competition has also closed up shop.
He's now in unemployment, or living with his parents with entire family in tow.

Poor #2 is the hard wage earner who never owned a home. In 2005 he's told that his $8 an hour can get him a nice home for less than normal payments. They'll go up in 4 years, but in 2 years he can refinance to a lower-interest loan, therefore skirting the payments. He's sure to move up in earnings by then anyway! His house will go up a third in value within a year, so why not take out a loan and live a little?
2007 rolls around and for some reason every bank denies the re-fi. Why? They can't risk it; too many loans are defaulting. In 2008 wage-earner is let go from his small-business company because they were the first in line to lose LOCs at the bank. 2009 rolls around and wage-earner has no job and his payments are going from "barely makin it" to "we absolutely can't make it". He, too, is now living with his parents, with family in tow.

Poor #3 is Good Neighbor. He's worked 15 years for the same company. He never took out more than he could afford in loans. His home rose in value, but he refused to get a HELOC or sell it and get a bigger place. He's holding out on saving the HELOC for his kids' education. His kids are good, smart ones that will likely get partial scholarships to college. But he loses his job because the company has folded in the recession. He maintains his house payment, but dollars are getting tight. He gets another job, but it pays considerably less and stretches the dollars more. He dreams of still sending his kids off to school, but he now can't afford to send them b/c he can't get a HELOC loan from any bank. The kids are still at home and they can't go to school. His health takes a turn for the worse from the stress, and now his savings are sucked up from health care costs.

These are the new faces of poor. Perhaps you know some of them. Some made bad choices, some did not. Regardless, they aren't ghetto rats or trailer trash. They are your neighbors. So the next time you want to complain about having to pay for other people's mistakes and supporting the poor....

Don't think about them.

Think about their children.

MJ

2009-06-28T22:49:00.000-07:00

It was 1984. I'm living in a third-world country. I have a nice house, but my neighbors live in straw huts. Our neighborhood is nice and clean, but some of the streets a few blocks over smell of garbage. I'm 10 years old and have almost infinitely more money than the boy next door, but by American standards our family is middle class. The differences on paper between my family and most in the neighborhood are staggering.

But one thing we had in common was Michael Jackson.

When "Thriller" hit it big, there were no more races left in the world. There were no more colors, no more classes, no more money. All you knew is that everyone was either going to learn all the moves to "Thriller", buy a jacket like the one he war in "Beat It", or figure out how to moonwalk. Many of us tried to sing like Michael Jackson. Every street vendor sold a "minus one" tape of Michael Jackson songs with no vocals so you could perfect your act. Books of lyrics to all the "Thriller" songs were hot, too. I spent many days lining out the bad English and correcting spellings and off-lyrics. You see where THAT got me!

Michael Jackson wasn't just music. When you lived in the Philippines as a military brat, it was a strange mix of being ahead and behind at once. We were close to Japan, so CDs and other neat technology was in our hands before the States. But the States knew what was hot six months before we did. There was no internet or cell phone technology to keep people in the loop. Yet Michael Jackson was hot at every time, all the time. He was our "connect". There wasn't anyone who wasn't a fan. There wasn't a boy who didn't twist an ankle or break his momma's vase practicing the moonwalk.

In fact, you've probably watched so many MJ videos by now and didn't realize you were tapping your feet. Your legs have spasmed a few times to "Smooth Criminal". Even the kids are high-kicking that left leg, tossing Skechers across the kitchen. You all, once again, have no colors or class. You are all quietly mourning in your heart, maybe not shedding a tear, but on the outside you are paying tribute by singing along and tapping that foot. Whatever you believe about him, whatever you think he did or didn't do, however he died, whatever his issues, remember that as magic as Michael was, he was human just like you. Yet his gift from God was to entertain, enlighten, perform, and give like no other. You all know it. That's why you are tapping that foot.

It is 1984 again.

My God Has Been Humiliated

2009-06-07T22:46:00.000-07:00

Wow. I really hadn't thought about it until my pastor mentioned it today. Christianity is the only religion where its main leader has been humiliated. Jesus was crucified. He didn't just shoot lightning bolts from the sky when he came to Earth. He wasn't impervious to pain, despite the super-miracles he performed. Jesus was crucified. He died a horrible death. And THEN came back!
Say what you will about Christianity, whether you're a non-believer or agnostic. The "humility" factor cannot be denied. This to me says that, at the root of Christianity is humbleness. It made me realize the full meaning of "sweetly broken". Critics of Christianity just can't get over being called a sinner, being told that you are faulty, imperfect, etc. I was one of those guys.
But sweetly broken means that yes, you are all these things, but you need to be in order to receive the full love of Jesus and God and you will be way, way better and stronger than ever!

I know this because I've been to the worst depths of my life- AFTER I came back to God. I lost a job I thought I was perfect for. I suffered from anxiety. Nearly all of my family members were sick with something not readily diagnosed, all within a year. Again, AFTER I had just got back into church and believing again. All of these things would have been enough for me to say "see, what kind of God allows that to happen?"
But they weren't. I kept praying and believing that everything would eventually be o.k., so long as I didn't just pray but acted on my faith.

Everything turned out fine in the end. And I mean "fine" as in everything ended how it should have. I didn't get my job back. I ended up working at my previous location. My family members all found the root causes for their conditions, leading to some lifestyle changes. My anxiety was fully diagnosed as Generalized Anxiety Disorder, I got some meds, and a serious wake-up call about how to handle certain types of stress. There's a lot more to that story that I can get into, but the main point is that my Jesus was humiliated, died a horrible death, and came back for ME. My humiliations and trials are nothing compared to that, especially with Him on my side.

Can We Be Friends?

2009-05-13T23:53:00.000-07:00

Can married men and women be friends with the opposite sex? Not the easiest issue for some, especially if your definition of "Friend" is different from your spouse's. I don't know if I found the answer, but I tried my best here

Read and let me know what you think!

Dear Lady In The Frozen Food Section At Trader Joe’s: I Swear I Wasn’t Hitting On You.

2009-05-07T00:12:00.000-07:00

Dear Lady,
First off, I must apologize. I know it must have been a shock to hear what you heard while I had two kids in tow at Trader Joe’s. I just really love the store. The problem is that everyone else does, too. The aisles are small and it is always crowded, so that’s probably why we ran into each other more than twice.
See, when I was in the frozen food section, I was very hungry. I was searching for a different dinner to eat tonight. Yes, Trader Joe’s costs a little more money than the average store, but it is still a lot less than I would splurge at a restaurant.
So when I was in the frozen food section and my kids were looking at the desserts, I saw something wondrous, curvy and beautiful and I just had to speak.

“Hello, darling. Fancy meeting you here. Wanna come home with me?”

Yes, those words can seem like an intentional pick-up line. A bad one at that. And since I was standing next to you, not making direct eye contact with you and speaking at a low voice, you might have thought I was hitting on you.
But I wasn’t.
I just really liked that slice of Ahi Tuna.
Seriously, it was the tuna.
Not that you weren’t attractive or anything. Honestly, I wasn’t paying attention because I’m well-trained not to. Every person in that store is just a person to me, because my eyes are too fixated on the food.

The tuna, however, was definitely beautiful.

If you read this, read my other blogs and talk to my friends. They can vouch for my love of all good food, healthy or not. They will tell you that I will blatantly hit on food, drool at the thought of a good meal, reminisce fondly over a restaurant I went to 10 years ago. Ask them. I have described to them in great detail about the best Chinese restaurant I’ve ever been to, which was in a German airport. It was run by Filipinos who spoke English in a German accent. But you couldn’t touch their braised duck in black bean sauce. Ohhhhhh, my heart longs for Lufthansa now!

See? See how easy I drift off? That’s what I was doing. I do it all the time. In this case, it was the Ahi Tuna. I’m sure you saw it. Fleshy, curvy body, all sealed up and looking as if it was caught yesterday and sliced by an 80 year-old Sushi chef (with a teleporting machine) hiding somewhere deep in Okinawa. It was so fresh it wasn’t even all-the-way white. I wanted to rip it open from the package and toss it on a hibachi while smothering it in a mix of extra virgin olive oil spiced with dill weed and a hint of brown sugar. I wanted that tuna in the worst way.
But alas, when I saw you dart away quickly after I expressed my love for it, I felt bad and embarrassed. Maybe you wanted the tuna, too, but that creepy guy with his two kids and a wedding ban frightened you off. Out of great sadness and regret for a complete misunderstanding, I left it behind and opted for the marinated steak instead. My wife and I enjoyed that as well.

So to you, lady, I am sorry. I hope you come back to Trader Joe’s and enjoy their foods again, just as I will. This time I will hold my praise and desires in, or at least take a look around before I speak words of compassion. But if I see that tuna again, I can't make any promises.

Less Than A Buck

2009-05-05T22:36:00.000-07:00

For less than a buck, I've bought highly-complimented designer shades that actually don't break on my face.

I've also purchased microfiber towels, extra tools for the home, and kitchenware second only to Pampered Chef.

I really, really love the 99 cents only store!

There's one on Peabody and one off of Beck Street. Believe me, if you are frugal minded, it ain't a bad place to shop.

Not too sure about the food, though. Anyone have any input? Here's what I printed about the 99 cents only store.

Moon Pies, Part 2

2009-04-25T19:36:00.000-07:00

My wife heated up a banana-flavored moon pie in the microwave. "Come on, try it! Maybe you'll like it better hot!" So I did. A sliver of warm, banana moon pie. It had been 10 long years since I tasted one.

And it will be another 10 more. They still suck.

Moon Pies

2009-04-23T07:24:00.000-07:00

I miss the south, but I've never seen the love for Moon Pies. Michelle and Logan bought some the other day. They are horrible, still. They have all the right ingredients, but they just don't come together right for me. A Moon Pie is like an all-star band that sounds horrible together but shine individually. Moon Pies are like old S'mores that a bear might have made with his unclean paws.

This reminds me of the last time I had a moon pie. I must confess a sin. Around 1995, I was going to college and stayed on campus during a quiet weekend. Me and a couple of friends (one of them reads my blogs from time to time) noticed that the vending machine in the dorms was really old, halfway empty, and had an opening that was juuuust big enough for a coat hanger. We knocked down about 20 or so snacks and got a few quarters as well. There was also a moon pie. I didn't like them back then, but hey, it was free and I was a broke college student.

I took a bite. Nasty. I can still taste it to this day. When Michelle and Logan put their moon pies in the buggy, I had to cover them up with other snacks.

Yechh.

I think it's time for the easy cheese and chickn n' a biscuit combo to make a return!

Blood on the Pavement: My Nerf Gun Story

2009-03-14T20:24:00.001-07:00

The Nerf guns have become the weapon of choice in our home. And I have now officially shed blood from an all out assault. It was well worth it.

I bought him a new semi-automatic Nerf gun that could give juuuuust enough of an annoying thump if you were hit. After a few weekends of morning ambushes by him, I thought to myself “why should HE be the only one in the house with a gun?” I went out and bought two more so that I, him and the daughter would all be armed and ready.

Today I decided to take the game out of the house and into the public eye. I gave the kids two guns. I set the alarm on my daughter’s watch and said “you have 20 minutes to go to the park. When your watch goes off, I’m coming for you.” They scattered like roaches when the flood light comes on.

1630 hrs. The most direct path to the park from our home is a pretty wide open field. You cross two streets, about 30 yards of grass, and THEN you reach the playground. It’s surrounded by three rows of houses. I knew that if I went straight into the park with a bright-orange gun, I would be easily spotted. I considered this well before they left.

I knew that if I left at 1640 hrs, 10 minutes before the alarm was set to go off, I could get a heads up on them. I figured their friends would be at the park, they would be distracted, and never have enough time to prepare for my surprise attack. Not only that, I would come from a side alley into the park rather then cross the 50 yards or so of open air. “If I can pull this off, I can catch Bin Laden”, I thought.

1657 hrs. I left the home, circled around, and made my way to the alley. I peaked around the bushes to spy my son, standing by a tree and looking up at some of his buddies. My daughter was in the jungle gym chatting with some other kids. Neither child was armed. Neither one could see me. It was time.

1658 hrs. Just as my son turned his head towards the tree one last time, I ran, arm extended and finger on the trigger. I practically sprinted towards him. He was 10 yards away and still couldn’t see me coming until he got the warning from his friends. “Hey! It’s your dad! It’s your dad!” My son turned his head every which way but mine. By the time his eyes locked into my shades, a dart had already bounced off of his chest.

1658:30 hrs. Apparently my full-on sprint was more than what the tread on my shoes could handle. As my son moved out of the way to reach for his gun, a tree magically appeared in its place. It looked just like the tree he was looking up at, except my mind forgot about it in mid shot. I moved sideways to avoid it and tried to stop, but I couldn’t five giant steps later, my head decided it wanted to take a gradual rest onto the pavement. I disagreed, but had no real argument against gravity.

1659 hrs. I am now bleeding. Since I was turning sideways and was holding a gun in my left hand, I had no choice but to land on my right side- face first. Thank goodness it was a Sully-style landing where I coasted along the cement and not a sudden drop. A small bush was kind enough to halt my motion. There was a slight gasp from the trees. One child expressed great concern for my situation: “cell phone! Your cell phone is over there!”

My daughter, loaded gun in hand, came over to me. “Are you okay, daddy?”
“Am I bleeding?”
”Oh, just a little.”
“Okay. Game on!” I shot her point blank on the shoulder.

1715 hrs. We returned home from our vicious gun battle. It was a load of fun. Many shots were fired. My girl was the most accurate, pinpointing a few darts to my ears and neck. My son had excellent pop-up tactics, appearing from behind slides and atop the jungle gym to empty his chamber. I just ran around collecting their missed darts and firing back as they tried to reload. As we walked home and the winds guided us along, I could feel a slight sting on my knee and the side of my head.

1725 hrs. I am now visibly whining. Everything hurts. It would have been worth it to take a knee or a tough fall on the hard side of my head. But the multiple surface wounds make it feel like someone tried to give me a tattoo of the Big Dipper while I was asleep. I need a shower.

1735. A shower was a bad idea. I didn’t realize that I also scraped my shoulder up. Axe body wash is not a gentle soap. Maybe this isn’t the time to feel so manly. I reach for the Dove. It’s too far away, and now my shoulder hurts even more.

1737. It was also a bad idea to wash my hair. I should have just rinsed it instead of subjecting the side of my face to conditioner. I am certain that I’ve swollen beyond recognition.

1741. As I look into the mirror, I realize that I have a lot of explaining to do when I get to church. I must first come up with a story that doesn’t sound like a cover up for my wife’s beating me, even though the only pain she caused me was laughter when I told her what happened. “Oh, you’re just getting OLD, that’s all!” I thought about some heroic rescue story about kittens in a burning bush. Or maybe I could discuss how I rappelled from the trees, down into the park, and got scraped from the branches on the way down.

But there’s no way I could make up the truth. It’s too funny. It hurts, but I’m already looking back and laughing.

Kids and Work Ethic

2009-03-04T18:39:00.001-08:00

You know what feels good? When you reach a point where you don't have to remind your kids how doing your chores and cleaning up after yourself leads to a good work ethic.
We're there right now with our own. 7 and 9 years old. I just asked them/ told them (NOT commanded them) to put in the dirty dishes, pick up a million Nerf gun darts, clean their rooms, take showers, turn on the dryer if the clothes are still wet, drag a 30 pound vacuum upstairs and to their homework.

Not one complaint. Not one. Not even a hand out for a dollar or something after that. The best part is that 9 times out of 10, that's the way it is. And that 1 time, it's usually a minor sigh that is quickly relieved with a bat of an eye.
*grins*

State Laws and Kids

2009-02-28T15:29:00.000-08:00

There was a recent time when my kids just plain didn't listen. We were out in public and they were getting out of hand. We have admittedly high standards of what "out of hand" means when compared to some of the kids I've seen in public. It usually involves touching stuff you shouldn't touch, kicking each other, being too loud and getting out of our line of sight. After two warnings, we took away dessert for the night. We usually go out to eat once a week and it's followed by a nice dessert. They were completely dejected. They didn't say anything the whole way home. They were disppointed in themselves.

In the car we explained: YOU made those choices. You were given rules, you were given warnings, and you still chose to do the wrong thing.When you make the right choices, you get rewarded. Wrong choices means you don't.

Some parents may disagree with taking away dessert. They say food shouldn't be used as a punishment OR reward. I half-way agree. No kid should go to bed without the opportunity to have dinner. Notice I write "opportunity".

But there are no state laws about dessert. There are no state laws that require children must go to Chuck E. Cheese once a month. Nor are there state laws that require the purchase of a Nintendo Wii, set playing time of the Wii, or playing of other people's Wii systems. I have yet to see a state law that says your children MUST play with their friends before, during, and after church.

When your kids decide to get out of line (whatever your line is),don't be afraid to discipline. The "rod" doesn't have to be a belt or your hand. Many times the "rod" is empowerment, responsibility, and allowing your kids to face disappointment at their own doing.

Intervention

2009-02-12T21:52:00.000-08:00

I have a hard time watching that show "Intervention". Maybe I won't be such a good counselor after all because sometimes I really don't feel sorry for the people on there. I feel bad for their families, but I don't always feel bad for people who had it good and then decided to throw it all away for one reason or another. Right or wrong, its how I feel.

But one story perplexed me. This lady was an alcoholic in a bad, bad way. She was a successful woman doing interior design who came from a good background. Was an "A" student, pageant winner, broadway actress, did TV shows..did everything well. But she became an alcoholic b/c her life pressures got to her. It wasn't rooted in abuse, or broken family, or anything like that. It was life pressure that drove her husband away and eventually caused her to lose custody of 4 kids. The lady was drinking a shot of vodka every few hours while at work and more shots at home.

But the root of her issues had to do with performance, pleasing, and living up to expectations. She viewed her mom as demanding she always do better. Her mom saw it as her wanting the best from her daughter but wasn't demanding; she just saw her daughter as highly competitive and demanding on herself. The siblings said that mom put more pressure on her b/c she was the most talented of them all. WHenever she would get drunk, she would scream and shout at the walls about always having to perform and never being good enough. But she NEVER said them to her family or mom. She would put on a baby voice, a smile, and end everything with "ok, sweetie". Never really stood up for herself.

I started thinking: what if ALL of them were right? What if she had high expectations? what if the mom wanted her to perform at her best? How should a parent handle a talented child? Do you protect them from the dissatisfaction of failure...which we all experience? Or do you motivate them to always do their best, even if their "average" is skyscrapers above the others?

I'm not sure what the answer is. But I think that as parents we should encourage our children to do their best WITHOUT belittling them. We should also constantly and honestly remind them about how much we love them no matter what the results are. Expectations should be realistic. If your kid always gets straight As and all of the sudden there's a B-, think about how he may PERCEIVE disappointment from you vs. the reality. YOU shape their reality, so it is up to YOU to make sure they are one and the same. Kids always want to please their parents until they think they'll NEVER please them.

I think that if she had confronted her mom early on about expectations she would have had an easier life. It all turned out well, though. During the intervention her brother made a speech about wanted her to be "well" and not a "star" like she was. She went on to detox, stayed sober for 3 years and is actually studying to be a substance abuse counselor.

The Newspaper Thief and Karma

2009-01-10T12:23:00.000-08:00

Now I feel like a "man". I'm officially annoyed because my newspaper is missing every other day. I don't think it is a delivery problem. Someone is just walking by and grabbing it. If I got up early enough, I think I'd catch the culprit.
I didn't mind it so much until my Sunday paper went missing. Don't you know we're in a recession and I need those dang Red Plum coupons?!?!

But it is Karmic; or God has a really long memory and a sense of humor. I used to be a paper thief. Not out of kleptomania or malevolence. I was a college kid and sometimes we'd stay up all hours of the night. My college town was small and had lots of businesses on the side roads. Every once in awhile I would take a paper just as a goof. Didn't matter what day it was; I'd take it. I figured that there wasn't much news in Pembroke or Robeson County, so the owner wasn't missing anything. Besides it was only 2 quarter's worth of paper.

But now? Oh, yeah. I'm feelin' it. Now I scan to see what upcoming city projects are being built. How the state budget crisis is coming. What's the next downtown festival I can pour my money into so I can complain about the economy afterwards? Everyone needs a five dollar funnel cake!

So whoever you are, newspaper thief, let's call it even today. I didn't take that many papers at Pembroke. If this is God's doing, ya got me!

Wal Mart Stampede

2008-11-30T18:48:00.001-08:00

You have no idea how upset I am over this. When my wife told me the further details involving the death of the "Wal Mart worker" in Long Island, I boiled even more on the inside. The full link to my letter is here, but here's an excerpt:

After the scene was over, Wal-Mart, obviously hurting for dollars, re-opened the store to continue pushing our capitalist society into the black. And we cry that our economy is slowing down? Who slowed down for Damour?

Why did it take me 10 articles on Google to even find out the Damour’s name? And the mainstream promises to push the facts? The fact is that it wasn’t a Wal-Mart worker who died. It was a man. A human being, working early in the morning to make ends meet. A man who’s parents, his lone family, have now outlived him.

What disappoints me the most is that odds are, 90% of those shoppers were fellow Christians. I could go on about the verses in the Bible that speak against greed, selfishness, kindness to your fellow man. There are even more verses on confession, forgiveness, and repentance. Was Damour’s death the reason for the season? How can we wish people would put “Christ” back in Christmas when we have these very acts of greed that adequately represent the “X” people use as a shortcut?

Liberal, Conservative, and God

2008-11-06T23:51:00.000-08:00

I didn't realize that the older I get, the more conservative I feel on the inside. I am realizing that some people need help from the government because they haven't been given an opportunity to succeed in life, but many people can do a lot of self-help if they tried. I am becoming less and less tolerant of people who think they have a sense of entitlement.

But what I wonder is why other people are "conservative", "right", or hate "liberals". When I get definitions from them, they are about fear. Liberals want the government to pay for everything. Our country is going to be run by liberals. Liberals will take our money. Liberals are socialists. Not one person, not one friend of mine in the last six months who has considered themselves a conservative, has been able to show me what exactly it means other than by not playing on the other team.

I just hope that they didn't vote for McCain because they feared the liberal take over. I've heard it today. The military is going to disappear because there's a Liberal/Democrat in charge. Liberals hate the miltary. Liberals are running the government now so all my money is gone.

Again, they define their positions out of fear of the opposition. So what if...

What if you woke up four years from now and despite the "Liberal" takeover you actually have more money in your pocket than you did before?

What if this Liberal takeover actually infused more bipartisanship and more laws were actually passed instead of halted just because the other team thought of it first?

What if there was a small tax raise on the top 5% of the nation's earners but it actually improved the work force that allowed those earners to make more money than before?

What if four years from now your military not only existed, it fought for freedom in places where it actually counted to benefit OUR country and not just the country it was in?

What would you say? Would you still be afraid?

See, I look at my own faith and how it was so attacked by many when it first began. Oppressive, Roman governments that barely helped their people but offered lots of structure didn't like the idea of Jesus and Christianity. Whereas many sacrifices were made to the rich by the poor in order to stay alive and idols were worshipped in order to get mercy, Jesus showed that you simply had to believe in him and his father for that freedom. No longer did you have to kill calves every day and watch the blood drain in canals next to your sleeping area; Jesus made it happen for you. He told the tax collectors to take what is due to them but to share the rest. He asked everyone to be responsible for each other and to help the poorest of the poor. His Father said that if you gave back 10 percent of what He has already allowed you to have, you would get unlimited returns.

Is this the "Liberal" that the fearful conservatives I know of are speaking about? I hope not. It's my faith. I don't see it as Liberal or Conservative. I see it as Godly. And I think that this is the time in our country that we stop defining our selves by fear of the enemy. Let's define ourselves by our own beliefs, not the myth of theirs.

Why I Voted "No" on 8

2008-11-04T19:00:00.000-08:00

I've long avoided discussing this issue until I could get the words right. So I finally posted my opinion and why I voted "No" on 8. It isn't an easy issue, especially those who are of a Christian background. But here it is:

voted "No" on Proposition 8. I voted mostly for political reasons, despite my faith and my partners in faith. I don't think that many people who vote "yes" on 8 are gay-bashers. I just think that some are misunderstood and others need to examine the log in their eye before they try to remove the splinter from their friend's.

I believe that marriage is sacred. Marriage is a beautiful union between two people who love each other and wish to spend the rest of their lives together and be known as a couple. Marriage is not intended to be temporary. Marriage is not a contract full of clauses. Marriage is marriage.

For legal purposes, though, people who get married and want it recognized by law must file a marriage license. This has nothing to do with the heart. This has to do with social responsibilities. Paying taxes, child care, credit for home ownership, etc. That's where the law steps in. Should a marriage dissolve, there has to be a legal way to resolve a separation of property and custodial rights of children.

Those who say "yes" to 8 say that California should define marriage as between man and a woman. The real question is why?

Here are some of the battle points.

"Protect your children". From what, exactly? Supporters of 8 say that their children will be "forced" to learn that marriage is between two persons and not a man and a woman, starting in kindergarten. I don't think Prop 8 will stop the discussion if there is one. And the last I checked, you have the willing right to take your kids out of school on days there are lessons that you don't agree with. If your kindergartner misses school on marriage day, then so be it. But I can almost guarantee he's going to learn a whole lot more dangerous things on the playground beyond same-sex marriage. Just ask any 1st grader, 2nd grader, 3rd grader, etc. what they have heard about sex.

There are prop 8 commercials that talk about children were taken to see a wedding between their teacher and her girlfriend. It was described as a teachable moment. That commercial makes it sound like kids were chained to the bus, screaming and crying "please don't let me see lesbians kiss!" But they weren't, as evidenced from the pictures here. If my kid goes on a field trip, I know about it. I sign a permission slip. I give the teachers permission to take my children where they want. Assuming we have responsible parents who knew what was up, it was a choice.

Protect Marriage. Protecting marriage starts at home, not through legislation. When no-fault divorces are at single-digit rates, when divorces are in single-digit rates, when child custody laws are fair between mothers and fathers, then we are protecting something. But right now, divorce rates for the FIRST marriage is hovering around 40%.

And we're just talking divorce. We're not talking about marriages of convenience, unhappy marriages, forced marriages. It starts at home. If you want to protect marriage, start in your own house and teach your children through examples of what marriage means. If you have problems with your wife or husband but you spend 8 hours a day putting "yes on 8" signs in your lawn, then you're wasting your time in my eyes.
Oh, and for the "holier than thou"? Here is a quote from a study conducted on Christian marriages:
George Barna, president and founder of Barna Research Group, commented:

"While it may be alarming to discover that born again Christians are more likely than others to experience a divorce, that pattern has been in place for quite some time. Even more disturbing, perhaps, is that when those individuals experience a divorce many of them feel their community of faith provides rejection rather than support and healing. But the research also raises questions regarding the effectiveness of how churches minister to families. The ultimate responsibility for a marriage belongs to the husband and wife, but the high incidence of divorce within the Christian community challenges the idea that churches provide truly practical and life-changing support for marriages." Remember what happened to Amy Grant and Vince Gill?

It Goes Against God's Word. And here is where even I have issues. It all boils down to who you consider to be homosexual and who you consider to be perverse. In Leviticus, homosexual acts are considered abhorrent. That's the Old Testament. In the New Testament, it is said to be the same. But Jesus had something to say about Eunuchs.
8Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."

10The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."

11Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage[c]because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."
Eunuchs who were BORN THAT WAY? People who were born with no sexual wants towards a woman? There are studies that say homosexuals are born that way. How do you condemn someone who is born a certain way? How do you condemn ANY of God's creations? We all know how man can corrupt a message.

From here, I can't say either way that two homosexuals getting married is against God's word. Clearly God didn't intend for there to be a complete balance of heterosexuality vs. homosexuality no more than there are an equal number of races. God doesn't make mistakes. I've met too many people in my life that are gay and have been gay literally since birth and they aren't perverts. I'd trust them to watch my kids than some straight people I know, straight people I used to go to church with in my childhood. There are people who have homosexual relationships for experimental purposes and not for love desires that I don't agree with. There are straight people who have straight relationships for experimental desires that I don't agree with.

But for the sake of argument let's say that homosexuality is a sin that people choose to do and are not born with. Is it any more or less sin in God's eyes compared to all sins? I've not been taught that way by the Bible. All sin is equal in the eyes of the Lord. If we must create a law around it, then it should be a sin that causes harm to others like murder (not killing, but murder) or child abuse. And the last I checked, murder and child abuse aren't limited to gays. We'll start outlawing overweight people because gluttony is a sin and that actually directly impacts our health care system. We can start fining people for lusting after the neighbor, even in your head. Why does two people who love each other and are of the same sex cause me to sludge through traffic?

Remember, this isn't an anti-Christian view. I'm a God-fearing, people loving Christian. But I'm not a judging, fire-breathing Christian. I strive to be a Christian of grace.

And that is why I voted "no" on 8. Until us Christians can be better examples of marriage, until we can prove that God doesn't love homosexuals and hates them so much we can't let them get married, I don't think we should approve a law that eliminates that right. If I don't want my kids to learn something from school, I'll teach them myself.

Change My Middle Name To Hussein, Please

2008-10-15T07:41:00.000-07:00

This is from my Digital Journal Editorial Post that can be found here:

"To whom it may concern,

Until the election, my new middle name on Facebook and Myspace will be Hussein. Why? Because there are ignorant people who try to stir up fear by using Barack's middle name against him. They've never called John Sydney McCain's name out. They didn't even really say Hillary Rodham Clinton although that's her maiden name.

But Barack HUSSEIN Obama? Can't you just draw attention to the issues, how you disagree with his plan, how you think he's presidency will not be as effective as your candidates?

You know what this means to me? This means that you assume voters are stupid. They are too stupid to care about true politics, bringing back the real. You assume that your man's plan is not good enough to win the election, so you might as well scare the hell out of those who aren't paying attention to anything but sound bites. "

Feel free to read the rest of the article at the at digitaljournal.com

For Singles Only

2008-10-02T23:09:00.000-07:00

Allright, so my friend Junebug knows that I like to write and do reviews of interesting products or websites. June introduced me to a friend of his named Padge, who has a most interesting site. After he described it to me, I vowed that I would write an article for it, do an interview, speak about it because I thought it was so innovative and creative. It was too exciting to pass it up!

That was in February. Of course, many things happened for the next few months out and now I'm getting back to it. I'm such a slacker!

So anyways, this site is for single people. Well, it can be for anyone, but you better be single if you are using it! It's called Inacronym. You know how when you meet up with people that seem interesting they aren't so interesting at all? Or maybe they seem completely boring but inside they are harboring a wealth of interests? What if that person was you and you just didn't know how to say "yes, I really love hamsters"?

Padge has fixed that. He uses computer symbols and codes to describe people's interests AND PUTS THEM ON CLOTHES! How cool is that?

Maybe it seems a little dorky at first thought. But let's pretend I'm a single lady with three kids. I'm really cool, really interesting and completely busy but I'm abit lonely, too. I meet all these nice guys but I'm too afraid to say anything because I don't know if these guys really like kids. Or will they pretend to like them just to get close to me? The only guy who could understand this would be....a guy with kids himself!

So I go to an inacronym party, hang out, and I spot another guy with a shirt that has the same symbol as mine: k3. Instant connection!

So single people, if you are a little on the shy side but have some interests in meeting people who may be like you, consider checking out the website. It's pretty nifty. I've already been blessed and found my perfect woman so I'm not going to explore the site. But you single ppl should check it out. inacronym.com. Tell me whatya think!

No More Shenanigizing!

2008-09-25T22:27:00.000-07:00

I can honestly say I never thought I'd have such a good time hanging out with a bunch of guys, but this weekend was tops. It was like perfect man-world for me: I got to sit around and sing for hours at a beautiful camp site in Tuolumne (however you spell it). I played basketball. I ate incredible food. And I grew closer to the Lord.
That is a testimony that I'm willing to share with anyone, but this blog space couldn't fill all that I have to say. I'll say this much: 5 years ago my skeptical mind wouldnt' be caught dead in a church, nonetheless a Christian one. But I'm a much better person now thanks to Jesus.

Anyway, one big lesson I learned at the men's retreat was summed up at the end by my friend Jon Johnson. Jon is separating from the Air Force at the end of his enlistment to go to seminary school. He's a great guy. He's one of the guys. And, like a guy, he can get distracted by things he wants to do versus the things that need to be done. I am the same way and so was everyone else in that room. What we learned was that Christian men should be men of action. We can't sit around and B.S. about knowing what we need to do and feeling bad for not taking care of business.
So at one point Jon says
"you know, I can get distracted by my shenanigans. I need to stop it. I need to stop shenanigizing. WE need to stop shenanigizing!"

And now, it is officially a word. Shenanigizing. Learn it. Stop it.

BTW, Solano Valley Church are now the official Silverspur 3-on-3 basketball champs. I would now like a pink drink.

Artist Formerly Known As Paul

2008-09-10T22:39:00.001-07:00

Ok, here's the vid of me covering "Purple Rain" at the contest. It should be on the top right somewhere or in the "my videos" section. Hopefully Prince's music peeps won't find this and make me stop ruining the song. or if I'm lucky (like I was that night) I'd love a gig as a once-a-month background singer in San Fran that's paid only in enough Dim Sum to feed the family :)

I Got Choked Up At The Air Show For 1.5 seconds

2008-09-02T21:24:00.001-07:00

I went to the Air Show this weekend with my kids. It was a blast. I went both days. Don't ask why. Let's say my son got a second chance at life and he'll be reminded of this moment when he's a teenager and says "you never do anything for me, dad!" I went to the Air Show and for the first time in awhile, I got choked up for almost 2 seconds.

Ok, here's the "choked up" part. I did 10 years in the service as a C-17 jet engine mechanic. I went to a lot of strange places to fix engines on that plane. Walking on it again for the first time in a long time was surreal. But I saw these aeromedical staff explaining what they do on the plane for people who are injured.

It took me back to my first TDY. I had just been qualified to be able to fix engines unsupervised and they sent me to Germany to support the Kosovo missions. I knew what to do at home, but overseas the pace doubles and triples within minutes. I wasn't very confident because I didn't think what I did was THAT important. There were two other experts with us but I was the lone guy on some days.

One day I was told to diagnose an engine problem that needed my immediate attention. I drug my toolbox along and didn't have any extra motivation because everything in the Air Force requires "immediate" attention. But when I got on the plane I saw about 12 cots set up and a few medical people waiting. On me. They didn't know it was me who would attempt to get the plane ready for launch, but they were waiting.
I didn't know the exact mission of the plane, but I was pretty certain it was going to the Kosovo area to pick up injured soldiers. It was time to man up and I did. I did my repairs and the plane was off and running within an hour. It was the first time I felt my job as a mechanic was important and I never looked back.

So seeing that plane with those cots and set ups got me choked up. I missed that feeling of purpose with such immediate results. Either the plane took off or it didn't. Either it stayed away or it came back with the same problems. I missed helping people go into the gates of war and rescue people. I missed those things and was proud of myself that I volunteered. I was even more proud of those who are still in and joined after 9/11.

Then it got hot. And I thought "I sure as hell don't miss this heat". I thought about sweating it out in 100% humidity, 90 degree temps in Charleston. At night. I thought about the opposite weather, too. I remembered my 4 foot of snow, minus 36 degrees in Bangor, Maine, trying to examine the insides of an engine at night with the wrong equipment. I remember leaving that place 12 days later and the temps finally rose to 9 degrees. All those memories flooded as I walked in my hat, shades, sneakers and shorts to get a snow cone. You can't do that in uniform.

Travis AFB AMC Icon: The Real Winner

2008-08-28T22:12:00.000-07:00

Yay! I won the 2007 Travis Air Force Base Air Mobility Command Icon Contest! I won over some really great singers! I actually won over a guy who could outsing any bird in the sky!I even won some money that came right on time as school started for the kids. I won respect from two LA bands and AJ Popoff, the lead singer of "Lit".
But you know what? I really won a whole list of other things.

*I won some new friends in the other "competitors" if you will. It's a horrible word to describe us because it wasn't like we all sang the same song. We were the loudest cheerleaders for each other and sang duets together on karaoke night and even gave each other tips. Whenever I get the energy, I'll be hangin' out with them more on Wednesday nights at the club.

* I won a chance to pray with someone and for someone. AJ's drummer has stage 4 brain cancer. He told me when we had a conversation later on in the night. It's really sad, but he and Lit want to record one last final EP before he passes on. I prayed for him. Would you do it, too? His name is Allen.

* I won an hour on stage with AJ and a combination of Cage9 and Slant to jam out every 90's metal/grunge song we could think of. We should always be humble, but every once in awhile it feels great to feel like a rock star!

* I won a way to provide a little bit more for my family using a joy that God gave me. The kids now have all the school clothes they need. They deserve them after going for so long without their toys and fun stuff during this summer's home drama.

*I won the chance to entertain hardworking people on base. If all I can give is 4 minutes of bringin' folks back to the Prince-era 80s and have them loving every minute of it, I feel honored. Although some guy did tell me he didn't like my song because I didn't wear the 6-inch boots on stage. Weird.

* I won some great pictures. My new prized possession is a pic of AJ and Command Chief Master Sergeant Williams. They were two of the judges in the competition. The whole night AJ was crackin' on the chief for his bling interrupting the microphone. They playfully jabbed at each other verbally. After the competition the loud bands played and most everyone cleared the room, except for the staff, other bands, and the chief! He sat in the front row listening and bobbing his head. AJ sits next to him. They toast, and I get a picture. Excellent!

So if you really look at it, the only thing coming in 1st place did for me was a little extra moolah. Other than that, I won all those other things just for showing up! What a happy moment:)Once I get a hold of the video of me singing, I promise I'll post it. It's not something I normally do, but I see it as a tribute to the hardworking men and women of Travis. "4 minutes to save the world!"

Dang It Feels Good To Be A Geekster

2008-08-05T07:33:00.001-07:00

The title is a play one of the songs they use in "Office Space" called "Damn it feels good to be a gangsta". I thought it appropriate because they played the song while the office guys were destroying a bad copier a la beat-down style.
I also say it with a slight smirk because of how popular things are today that would have kept me in the "look at the nerds!" crowd 15 years ago.

In 7th grade my Advanced English teacher read to us all three Lord of the Rings books and had us memorize poetry from it and do geography projects based on the book.
I knew almost anything and everything about Lord of the Rings, thanks to an English teacher, 14 years before they started making the real-life movies. We were laughed at.
In the 8th grade I met my friend Donnie who collected comic books. He and I were the only ones one the street who did it. He was older than me so he was a big influence. I collected X-Men mostly but read Iron Man, Daredevil, Spiderman, and some of the Batman books. I had the first solo Wolverine comics. Our basketball and sport friends scoffed at us.
In the 10th grade I read "The Watchmen" and was surprised to find out that comic books can be SCARY. It was dark stuff, but a great lesson learned in power and pride and self righteousness.
My first year in college I learned that you can actually "talk" to people over the internet. Send messages to friends and relatives across the world. The rest of the college thought that was for lonely geeks with no other friends and couldn't socialize. Nowadays, sending text messages to someone sitting next to you is "in", and the only way some families and couples interact is through AOL chat.

So yah, sometimes I smirk when I see stuff go across the screen that is now deemed "cool". I smirk because I was surrounded by people who told me that you like what you like no matter what people say. Everything can be art and a tool to learn more about yourself and each other, be it a comic book or an online friend. And what you know now will help you in the future, so don't be ashamed of your hobbies. A basketweaving freak invented Longaberger's.

Dang it feels good to be a geekster.

Drowning On The 4th of July

2008-07-09T23:08:00.000-07:00

So our family set out to do what we've done the past two 4ths: Go out to that lil' strip of grass on highway 12 in front of the Cheese steak shop and watch the fireworks. We usually bring food and a ton of blankets but this time we planned on picking up some cheese steaks and eat them before the show. The cheese steaks were pipin' hot, but the wind was no joke. There were many families bundled up in jackets and blankets- on the 4th of July. In California. The irony!

While we await the fireworks, we noticed that a few people about 50 yards away were backing up to the sidewalk because the sprinklers came on. "How unfortunate" we thought. They've never come on before and people sit here every year. While my wife and I struggled (but enjoyed) trying to keep the kids warm and finishing up our last bites of cheese steak, we got a lovely surprise: a bath.

The sprinklers came on like snakes surprising a rabbit. One minute we were cold, the next minute we were cold and wet. What's worse was that we weren't just NEAR the sprinklers; we were ON the sprinklers. It was all we could do to beat the other 100 people to the sidewalks. Three of us made it there in ten seconds. The fourth, my son, was stuck in the biggest blanket we had. I just had to wrap him up and take him along. So now with 78 degrees, 14 mph wind and wet jeans, we had nowhere else to watch the fireworks.

Or so we thought. We made our way to the car and headed towards the Marina Shopping Center parking lot. It was closer but the chances of us getting in there were slim to none. After all we weren't the only wet ones. On our way there we noticed a bunch of trucks lined up on what appeared to be an empty field of short, dry grass. "Might as well", we thought, and pulled up next to the bubba trucks. It felt like we were back in the Carolinas again, except this grass was completely dead and deceptively high. I'm still scared to look at my car's undercarriage.

Nonetheless when the fireworks started we couldn't all get a good view. I backed up the car to where the trunk window was facing the general direction of the fireworks but the angle from up front was tight. So all four of us let the seats down and crowded into the trunk of the RAV 4 and watched them together. Wet jeans, wet blankets and all.

But you know what? That didn't really completely disappoint us. It was a bonding experience that is sure to be a lasting memory. We got a closer view of the fireworks and we were still a lot warmer than being out in the wind. Besides, we still had warm bellies from the cheese steak!

Redirection

2008-06-24T20:56:00.000-07:00

OK, I'm ready to open up the doors to Solano Dining! It is still a work in progress, but please visit and enjoy!

solanodining.blogspot.com

house stuff, part 2

2008-05-18T15:14:00.000-07:00

if anyone needs any details about our living situation, please just e-mail me. I know many ofyou are interested and praying for us, but there has been a discussion and an agreement that I should limit those details to a one-on-one basis :)

On that note, I wanted to give a shout-out to some chain restaurants that have surprised me with their quality of food and service:

1. McDonald's on Leisure Town. Your food looks like the pictures and TASTES amazing, from the patty to the soft serve cone. How do you do it? It's like a miracle that the 10 millionth McDonald's ever built finds a way to make their food at a higher quality than the rest of them. This is almost as good as the McDonald's overseas, where I have eaten under chandeliers and served at my table.

2. Ono Hawaiian BBQ in American Canyon. I've been to 3 Hawaiian BBQ restaurants. This is THE best. I didn't feel bad about eating it. Somehow it made me feel like I was home, and I'm not even from Hawaii.

3. TGIF's Guy Fiero stuff. That blonde, spike haired guy on the Food Network had some sort of cook-off challenge and the winners got their food on the TGIF menu. I had these little Ahi Tuna burgers there. Very, VERY tasty and affordably priced just like the commercial said. Nice!

4. Old Time BBQ Catering in Fairfield. They were at the Stand and Be Counted concert this Saturday. They actually MAKE vinegar based barbecue sauce like in the Carolinas. AND they served me sweet tea. Big shout out for truly bringin' me back!

That's it for my shout-outs. Stay tuned for more reviews!

Still in TLF

2008-05-17T19:03:00.000-07:00

OMG. Everything is still awaiting to go to the state from the underwriters. That means we are STILL not even sure if we are 7-10 days away. My lender said last monday that once I get my employment stuff to them, it goes to the underwriters, and then it is 7-10 days. I got my employment stuff to them by 11am that day.
But there is always more to the story. They were missing something ELSE from the VA. I didn't hear about that until Friday. So that means I am STILL not any closer to our home than I was Monday.
This is what I don't understand. I know my family is one of a gazillion, but if I ran a lending company and I knew some clients were overdue an entire 30 days from the original closing day and are 7 days from the extended closing day, wouldn't you as a business manager be lighting some serious fires? Wouldn't you go beyond "oh, well, we called" to "I have called them every hour on the hour"? I'm not talking about base level employees. I'm talking MANAGEMENT. Wouldn't you worry that, even under extinuating circumstances, this deal would ruin your reputation as the #1 VA Lender if your clients consistently felt like they were being inconsitently kept in the loop?
My worry as a branch manager of X company would be what these clients had to say for a referral. Would they say "you know, things went slow, but I knew that when there were delays the branch manager personally called to see them through"? Or would they say "you know, things were slow and we never heard from the top dog."
Every restaurant I've been to where there was a significant problem always ended up with us talking to the manager. Not the chef, not the server, not the hostess, but the manager. And we've ALWAYS felt better afterwards. Well, always except once and we went straight to the company for that. And even THEY compensated us!
It's just extremely frustrating. Extremely. If your base line workers are going 110% at their job and the underwriters or whoever else are not, a manager needs to step in and find out where the disconnect is.
WE are lucky and blessed to be surrounded by Christians and others who care enough about our situation that they are doing all they can to keep us afloat. The TLF people have extended us and extended us and PCS season is coming. they can kick us out at anytime past this Friday saying "we have 3 families coming from Germany" and I can't say a thing. They have gone above and beyond. There's nothing to argue. I've started my job (finally) so the window of beign able to freely move is gone. I can't believe I just wrote that. I STARTED MY JOB AND I"M STILL IN A BASE HOTEL!!! We've been here since 10 April. At least the commute is short.

Wish me luck!

2008-05-14T07:13:00.001-07:00

Tonight is the second round of the Travis Idol... I mean, Travis Icon singing contest. There was a name change due to logo, copyright infringement, blah blah blah. Anyway, even though I won last year, this year is about 100 times harder. I don't know where these other singers on the base came from, but man they are good!
I was very happy to make it to the second round. The competition is tough and for me to get that far felt kinda nice. If I don't make it to the final four I wouldn't feel bad at all because this field was cut from 16 to 9 and honestly there were 14 of us that could have been in the second round easily.
But seriously, there is only one reason why I would love to make it to the final four: dinner. You wouldn't believe how good last year's dinner was! This year the top four get the free ticket to the Asian Pacific dinner. That roast pig was just....awesome...
So if you can get on the base, or you are on the base and you are reading this, come out tonight and vote for me if you think I'm good. Three judges get to vote and the audience counts as one vote. You get to pick the top three singers and the votes are weighed, scored, etc.
I haven't decided what I'm singing yet tonight but it has boiled down to Raspberry Beret, It's Not Unusual, I Put A Spell On You, and I Believe In A Thing Called Love. All fun songs. If I can entertain one person tonight, then I have done my duty. If I make it into the top four, I will be very full in a couple of weeks!

As far as our house goes, we're still not in. I have, however, started work, so the time is passing by a little quicker. As of now our package is supposedly being reviewed by the State, which means 7 to 10 days before we can close. Yay! We're still in TLF. Thank goodness the beds are soft, but the kids are probably tired of sharing a room by now. It's only been 1 1/2 months since we were told we could move into the house. Can't blame 'em for being restless!

Moving the Francis Family

2008-05-01T16:30:00.000-07:00

Wow, what a way to see God at work! We helped move the Francis family this weekend. Let's just say they were not short on items to transport. But once we saw their new beautiful home, it was all worth it.
That just got me to thinking about how God is so good to people. The Francis family has helped out countless of people in our church by doing big and small things here and there, and immediately they were able to find folks to move them on such short notice.
Hmm, you do good things for people with no expectation of return, and in return you get 10 fold. It is sorta like tithing. As far as I know that's the only time God says in the bible "test me....go on, try it. Give me a little bit back of what is mine in the first place, and I'll give you an unending amount of blessings. Go on, try it!"
How could you NOT try it? How could you NOT give just for giving's sake? They were so eternally grateful to us and all the others for helping them move, but really the pleasure was ours. They are such a good family, and who could pass up an opportunity for some extended weight training, power lifting, high rep bicep curls and overall fellowship? Soon it will be our house. Well, hopefully soon.
It was also a good excuse to buy a Slurpee (thanks Adam!)Hadn't had one in years. Wow, how delicious...

Still Waiting

2008-04-26T21:34:00.000-07:00

I was trying to hold off until everything was complete, but everything isn't complete in the Bright transition plan :)

Here is our current status.

I start my new job as a personnel security assistant on the 12th of May. No I don't carry a gun; this is security in terms of information, people, TPS reports, blah blah blah. Very exciting stuff from the inside but I can't talk about it at length. It's on the Air Force base.

I am still going to grad school. I have one class this session. It is a fun one. I'll never look at IQ tests the same!

Michelle still has a job on the base, too. She is progressing very well and orders the best food for the kids in day care. What a woman!

The kids should still be going to the same school they are at. Thank goodness for that! No transfers or anything of the such.

The house...well, that's the kicker. We are still "closing" on it. We are buying from a bank and not a person, so everything takes much longer. The rules have changed drastically and weekly for people who are processing all the paperwork for houses, so things are taking their time. We are definitely getting movement, and it is a beautiful house worth waiting for!

Meanwhile, we are living in TLF. Temporary living facility for those who are not in the military. It is designed for short stays and is kinda like an Econo Lodge. There is a kitchen, living room, balcony, two bedrooms, washer/dryer, etc. It isn't a house, though. And it is getting crowded since a lot of the stuff we had from the base house had to come with us. We were SUPPOSED to be moving in 5 days after we left the base house. Well, we are on day 13 now. See what I mean by creeping?

But we have a wonderful realtor who is helping us and she has gone far above and beyond her limits. Our finance guy gets calls from me every day and is working his darndest, too. Even the title company of the bank is working tough. I can tell because I've worked in government paper pushing systems and I know when people are working hard or when people are just blaming "the system".

And thank goodness for the people taking care of us at TLF. They have made leaps and bounds for us since they know we are simply waiting on paper work.

I'll be able to relieve some stress soon. The base club has Rock Band Mondays with the Rock Band set up. And the next Travis Idol contest starts soon. I have been persuaded to participate again. I won last year (yay!) Got some cool shoes and some good dinner out of it. This year the prizes are supposed to be better. If you can get on the base to support me, please do! Wed. Nights starting 7 May at 7pm.

When this is done, I will name names of those who have really come through for us. Until then, we're still waiting...

Meanwhile, enjoy the photos and restaurant reviews!

The Mystery of San Francisco

2008-04-17T07:26:00.000-07:00

I've had quite a time trying to order books for my grad school class. I don't have a permanent address, and the place we are staying in we don't plan to be here too long. So I have looked for books that can show up in 5 days or so.
It just so happened that one of the sellers on Amazon was based in San Francisco. I e-mailed them and coordinated a pick up for today. It was only an hour drive, and I was already behind one week with no books, so I figured "what the hey. I'm on terminal leave."
I arrived at the listed address in downtown San Fran. Let me tell you, it looked nothing like a book store and wasn't exactly in a shopping district. I walked up the steep steps of the building, opened the door, and still saw no books, no store, no anything except white walls and a few offices. I went up the stairwell only to find people sorting out boxes and boxes of clothes.
I made my way back to the first floor and a guy asks me what I'm looking for.
"A bookstore."
"Bookstore? There's no bookstore here! I don't see a bookstore. Well, there is one up the street. If you go a couple of blocks, then..."
He is suddenly interrupted by another man. "Hey, I've got some work for you to do" and he leads the first man upstairs.
Another guy who was arguing with a receptionist sitting behind a plastic window turns to me and starts asking questions.
"Do you know anyone who can override their authority?"
"Um," I responded. "I, um, don't work here."
"Well, that's good. So you haven't had to deal with THEM, right? I need to find someone over them, know what I'm sayin'?" He went on to babble about his brother and needing help and other things, and then he walked out the double doors.

I walked outside the building and read the sign. It said that it was a donation place and rehab center for adults. I walked back in, still dumbfounded. I asked the lady behind the plastic barrier if she could direct me to the book store. "There's no book store here", she said. I read off the address and the name of the contact.
"Ohhh," she says. She picks up the phone and asks for the contact person to come down stairs.
"Am I buying some special heroin?" I thought to myself.
The contact came downstairs and remembered who I was. She said she had the book I needed. I told her I came from Fairfield. "Must be an important book to drive that far", she remarked.
I then asked (knowing the answer) if there was a debit card machine because I don't carry around a lot of cash. She of course told me "no" and directed me to the nearest ATM, which was two blocks away.
It turns out that in San Francisco two blocks away at 4pm equals 30 minutes of driving time. It was a lot of circling. And driving. And turning. And circling again. At least I found that ice cream place I saw on the Food Network, which will be reviewed later on.
When I returned, the contact wasn't there. "Oh, she'll be back" the receptionist said. 5 minutes pass by. NO contact. 10 minutes. I look at the stairwell. 20 minutes. I look at the other stairwell. At the 21st minute I stood up and asked where she was.
"Hold on". The receptionist dips behind her secret door and opens up another one. "Just come back here."
"Yep, I'm gonna die," I thought.
It turns out the book was marked and waiting for me to be picked up in the other office. I handled that procedure with yet another lady, who recognized the book. She turned out to be a professional counselor who had a husband in the same field I was going into. "We need more men. Good for you!"
"Great! Can I have a free book then?" No, I didn't say that out loud. But I should have.
I step out of the secret door to find that I am now locked into the building. The double doors I came through are locked. A large, rusted woven iron gate now barricaded the steps.
"I'm really, really dead now", I thought again.
Fortunately there was yet another way out. The receptionist led me through the back doors, hallways and additional stairs. Eventually I was out and back on the street.
When I look back, I realize that the people in the building were all very nice, very kind. After all, they were there to help rehab their fellow man and bring them back into society's good graces. It is related to what I plan to do for a living. No one looked like they were going to hurt me, and everyone asked if I needed help.
But that was definitely NOT a bookstore.

The Greatest Snack of All Time

2008-04-03T16:37:00.000-07:00

Please read my story about the greatest snack of all time!

It can be found here

Ol' School Pics

2008-03-27T08:02:00.000-07:00

This is from back in the day. On the left is my cousin Michael. The baby is Katherine, who is being held up by my brother Nino. I'm on the far right. We're on top of Katherine's car, parked in front of my house in the Philippines. This was 1984.

Look at those video clips over there--->

2008-03-22T16:47:00.000-07:00

Every once in awhile MTV puts out something worth watching or draws my attention to something worth raving about. The Jabbawockeez are definitely one of them. Even if you hate hip hop, rap, or whateva, you have to respect these guys and their ability to dance. Just look at them! I have a video strip of them on the right that comes from YouTube. The Jabbawockeez....wow... remember when you first heard/saw Michael Jackson's Thriller and you went back to your room when no one was looking and tried to moonwalk, pop lock or grab your nether regions? That's what the Jabbas are making people do now.
My Jabba history review is right here.

Terminal Leave

2008-02-29T22:26:00.000-08:00

Ok,I'm on terminal leave now. This means that I am taking every possible vacation day left in my Air Force career.

It's a strange time. I still don't have a job 100% lined up (I have one that is 95% but the guvment is holding us up!). No clue yet where we're going to live. Not even sure if I can stay in my grad school system.

I am certain, however, that God is openign doors and creating paths for us. We're stepping into every doorway, seeing what's out there, and working. We're sure He will clue us into what we need to do next. I'm learning to keep my eyes open!

That being said, I'm trying to make the most use of this time. I am enjoying the Mr. Mom game where I make the kids breakfast, lunch, take them to school, pick them up, clean one good thing in the house, and continue to write and wait for call backs. I have learned a few things in these last seven days that you may find entertaining.

1) Flavor of Love is somewhat interesting. How does a 50 year old man who wears viking helmets manage to attract all that attention? He isn't particularly rich, but I guess there's a charm to him.

2) Sandy's can make some hashbrowns that actually surpass the Waffle House hashbrowns! I thought I would really miss the WH hashies if we stay here, but I guess not...

3) My kids have the most interesting school stories. My daughter can tell me a five minute story on how everyone at school got in trouble...except her, of course. And although Logan's vocabulary is increasing, his confusion of Baltimore and Voldemort was one not to be missed.

4) John Travolta looks weird as a woman. Quite the dancer, though! I watched Hairspray with the kids. Didn't realize at first the coincidental timeliness of watching it in February and having to explain to them what "Negro Day" meant. What a lesson!

5) I still don't like dusting. I dusted everything one day. Gives me the sneezes.

6) I know how my wife felt a few years back. There was a time where she was stay-at-home mom and I worked on the flightline. I stayed over at work a lot (not by my choice). Now she's in a busy office and I'm at home for a month. She's had to stay over a few days. Man, I missed her!

7) Coffee is really good when you have time to drink it.

8) Even if you excercise, you gain weight. Too much snacking! Must stop!

9) Who knew there were so many online coupons!!!

10) I need to get out more.

I'll keep you posted on anything else that comes up!

Paul

Shallow Politics

2008-02-10T20:44:00.000-08:00

Dear mainstream media:

We are not THAT shallow!

One local news station in Northern California had the nerve to make a live poll question on a morning broadcast asking this question: Who are you more afraid of, a black president or a woman president? And, just as they wanted, people called in with answers so that the anchor could bash them. Horrible.

By the way, did you notice the "race" issue blew up in South Carolina and not New Hampshire? Yet another media assumption about the South.

And neither are the rest of us. Not the women, not the blacks, not the poor, etc. If I vote for Obama, it isn't because he's a Democrat and I hate the "white" Republican party. It's not going to be because I'm half black.

I'm not going to vote for Hillary because I liked Bill. And I don't have a lot of female friends who are going to vote for her because she is a woman.

I'm not going to vote for McCain because of my family's military history.

I'm going to vote for the best candidate who has my future and my family's future in mind, and can make both sides of the house work together.

So fellow voting minorities out there, don't let the mainstream or even local media keep you feeling stupid. Publish your op-eds. Keep blogging. Keep researching. You'll never know 100 per cent of what you need to know about your candidate. But you always know what concerns you. Focus on those issues and find the candidate who you think will best help solve them, regardless of sex, race, and especially political party.

It's clear that the top three front-runners know how to cross the lines of their "Rs" and "Ds", so don't be afraid to cross yours if you have one.

Mmmm Sonic

2008-01-08T12:06:00.001-08:00

One thing California is lacking: The number of available Sonic Drive- In restaurants. It's a shame; pure shame. I can get over the Waffle House not being here, but Sonic? It's almost a sin!
So, after really considering moving back to NC, we found one about 45 minutes away. "Are we really ready to drive that far?" we asked ourselves. Well, not quite. This involves packing up the kids, making sure we have gas, all for some fast food.
Mind you, this isn't ordinary fast food. It's a reminder of home! It's the thought of waiting an extra few minutes to get that beautiful cream pie shake, that burger with mustard on it, that foot long coney complete with cheese and chili tater tots...
And we gave in. On the last day of our New Year's break, we made the drive, and promptly spent more money at one fast food joint than we ever thought possible. Mostly because I wanted it for dinner, too, so I had to make a take-home purchase.
And it was worth it. California, you are forgiven. Your Sonic is almost as good as home!

No Longer Computer Blue!!!

2007-12-16T00:46:00.001-08:00

The 'puter died Monday. It was scary because I had to send off a midterm the night before. If it didn't go through, I was definitely in deep doo-doo.
It's back now, but it took a lot of work. My 4 year-old motherboard had fried, most likely due to a fried power supply. THe guys at J&S Computer Solutions helped me figure that out. So then I tried to call the Computer Guy in Dixon to see if he could find me another mother. He said it would cost about 200 bucks plus install/bench check to replace it. We just went ahead and got another 'puter. An HP Slimline. It's beautiful.:)

The Music In Me

2007-10-30T11:43:00.000-07:00

My radio station is stuck on country. Yes, country. I'm not known to be much of a country fan except for a few songs here or there and the Dixie Chicks (whom some argue to be more rock and bluegrass), but I'm seriously stuck on the country station. I love the Bucky Covington song about sleeping in cribs with lead-based paint, but turning out o.k. And there's one tune that came out a couple of years ago by Little Big Town called give me just a little more you...I swear it's an RnB song!

My only clue to the country fixation as of late is that I miss the east coast. You couldn't get away from country in South Cackalaki or in North Cackalaki, but you tried. Every other station was country. The Waffle House played it and we went there just about every Saturday. But out in California you don't hear much. So maybe that's it.

Ahh, who cares? You like what you like. Just because I'm half black doesn't mean I have to enjoy deep-down hip hop, crunk or any of that. You will catch me dancin' to it, though, but I'm not limited to it. I'm more of a 90's grunge type of guy when I listen to the radio, but I like all kinds of stuff. I sing on the worship team at my church and we sing contemporary Christian songs which I like, but that doesn't mean I have to enjoy every song on K-Love nor does it mean I should give up all other music. Most K-Love songs are structurally boring and even Tod Agnew blasted its music for being not diverse enough. Yes, he did. And I was there when he said it.

In college I lived in a suite with musical elitists who didn't think I would "get" their music. They didn't think I would "get" Kate Bush, Pink Floyd, King Crimson, etc. Some thought I listened to it just because they did and if I liked it, I didn't know what I was really liking. I did. I still listen to Steely Dan, one of the greatest bands ever. Kate Bush has been a fixation to me. I collect Tori Amos cds and her live covers when I can find them. Never did dig deep into Floyd or Crimson, but some of it I can appreciate.

Regardless, you like what you like. There's always a reason why, but you'll have to find your way to it. Your tastes will change with the times. Two years ago I was the old guy at the Slipknot concert. I stood in the way back because I didn't want to get pummeled in the mosh pit and have to explain to my wife and kids why daddy is smiling with a black eye. 10 years ago I would have dove in. BTW it was a good show with excellent percussions but I'm not into the "my life sucks I hate my parents and I'm 15" lyrics.

A lot of music I like has to do with situations I was in or songs that were playing when I had fond memories. I sing boy band songs from time to time. Why? Because it makes my daughter laugh and some are catchy. The country songs I liked were because of what I heard at karaoke bars. Some people did the songs so well I wanted to hear more.

So if you have music you like and you don't understand why, don't sweat it. Play it out loud. Be that tattooed biker dude screaming Celine Dion songs at the top of your lungs. Dare to be the black guy on the street that doesn't know how to do the chicken noodle soup but knows his Mozart if you know it. It's ok to be white and enjoy real hip-hop like Common and Tribe Called Quest; you don't even need to try and speak the language! Just listen to it and smile if you want.

At the bottom of the blog is a list of music info I have. Some are interviews of friends in music, others are CD reviews. Enjoy! For now, I've got to get back to Tracy Lawrence and that "you find out who your friends are" song.

Small Vacation, Big Rewards

2007-09-30T22:51:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I went on a Men's retreat with my church. Man, did I learn a lot about how to be a better Chrisitan! I loved it because the speakers taught us so much about how we should relate to our wives and to God in a much more constructive way. I wasn't bashed in the head with "ha ha ha stupid man!!!"....I did all that on my own. It was a good trip.

Since my return I've been trying to work on my class work as best as I can. I had no idea how hard it would be to fit in grad school work with the rest of my life. I knew it would be time consuming, but I learned that just like the military, "hurry up and wait" exists. I may be a horrible civilian when I get out *lol*

I've still managed to pump out a few more articles reviewing those newer, healthier foods in the grocery store. You can find them under "food reviews". But stay tuned because I'm going to start pushing up my gift ideas and write new articles about gifts. The holiday season is coming and I've seen that the sooner you try ti figure out who is worth buying for and what you'll get, the better.
Don't be afraid to lend me an ear. In fact, what specific group would you like me to research? I've already done NASCAR fans, teen artists, and even scrapbookers...yes, scrap bookers. And no, I don't scrap book.

Until then, thanks for poppin' in!

Paul

Love/Hate With My Insides

2007-09-20T07:28:00.000-07:00

If my body had its own brain, it would be confused. "Dude", it would say. "Why are you writing about these fatty, drippy rich food restaraunts in one end, and then a healthy food thing in the other?" I would pause. "Dude!" it would say again, because that's its language "You're trippin' me out!"

Well, I would definitely speak back to my body. I would have to wonder what was in that tea I drank before I went to bed, but I would still have a conversation. I would say "Relax, bro. You know I only go out to these places on the weekend and with the family. You know during the week we have to take better care, but bro, one day a week of just good ol' stuff your tummy food is great! It's not like we're ordering two or three plates for ourselves and eating that three times a day.
If we do breakfast out, we do dinner out. You know the routine, man! If we do big lunch out, we have a smaller late dinner! But it doesn't hurt to try some new stuff during the week. Relax. And quit runnin' me to the toilet so much!"

"Gotcha, man," my body would probably say back. "Just please, dude, easy on the fiber!"

Food Reviews

2007-09-17T20:54:00.000-07:00

I'm writing this during my research and bibliography night class. I can do this because we're having our papers reviewed one-on-one with the instructor and I'm last. And this is a 5-hour class. Gotta stay awake somehow!

Ok, I'm on the food review kick! I figured that if AC pays me 4 bucks an article and I paid 2 dollars to eat the meal, I may be onto something until I get sick of healthy foods or run the grocery store out of Paninis.

One of my favorite additions is the beer review I did on Young's Luxury Double Chocolate Stout. Like I've said in other articles, I'm not a big beer or alcohol drinker anymore. It is usually one on the weekend. Not even one six-pack. I mean one as in literally "I'll have ONE of those, please". But this week's pick was a winner!

While I was on the liquid kick, I decided to try a vitamin water made by Dasani. Uhh, yah. Not good.
I also reviewed a couple of new meals: The Lean Cuisine Chicken Tuscan Panini and a Kashi frozen meal.

Food was the big theme this week! Stay tuned for more articles on whatever else pops up.

A Few Updates

2007-09-05T20:34:00.000-07:00

A few updates to the links here. In MUSIC news, there's a new iPod out for Apple to sell. I don't have an iPod yet, so if I sell my first born I could probably afford it. Looks cool, though.
I added another link under the HEALTH tab talking about a cool website to visit if you know anyone with a drinking problem. It's humorous, well-designed and raises some eyebrows. Most of all, it's very real.

If you look at my content feed and keep up with the news reports, you'll see I'm doing my best to keep up with the Quixtar (used to be Amway) vs. TEAM legal battles. Basically TEAM was a bunch of leadership trainers hired by Quixtar to motivate their sellers. TEAM found out some things about Quixtar that they didn't like and are trying to break away. Quixtar is cool with that, except they refuse to waive the "no compete" clause in the contract, which could make TEAM very happy and rich if they were allowed to set up their own retail business. TEAM is challenging them in every court possible. Keep looking at the feeds to see what's up!

Updates

2007-08-28T21:31:00.000-07:00

I've updated and added more categories for links. I added some for gifts since the holiday season is coming around the corner and I have another category for holidays, vacations and the such like where to vacation, where to propose and where to have romantic getaways in some cities.
For those of you new to the site,I should probably explain why I've written articles on all sorts of categories. This isn't to say I'm a know-it-all because there is much to learn. I do, however, like to write about stuff me or my family has experienced and I truly feel that if anyone looks back in their life, you can write tons and tons of articles on everything that's happened to you!

For startersour family has lived in Charleston, South Carolina for 8 years. We're from North Carolina and used to vacation to Myrtle Beach at least twice a year, saving a few weekend visits. We now live in Northern California and have been to Yosemite. So that should explain why there are several articles based on California, Charleston and Myrtle Beach!

My wife has worked with children off and on for 6 years to include home day care, daycare in a center, and now as a USDA food clerk. I worked 4 summers at summer camp with children from 5 to 18 years old. I'm working on my Masters in Pyschology, concentrating on Marriage and Family Therapy. We've got two wonderful children of our own; we've lived in either a court or a dead end street with a playground for the last 4 years. That explains the many parenting articles.

My wife has also jumped back into the fitness circle and runs crazy amounts of miles every other day. She's got lots of books on nutrition and hopes to be a nutritionist some day. Both of our families have bad health history and have taken steps to maintain our weight and exercise. This is why there are weight loss articles.

For hobbies, I love to sing and love music. I can talk about pop music from the late 70s through the 90s for days, especially if it has to do with Prince. I like some of the not-so-pop stuff that came out back then, too. I have lots of friends in bands from the east coast, so you'll see articles about them and other music.

Most everything else is from general life experiences. Like I said, anyone can do this and if you think you'd like to write for a few extra dollars, feel free to get started here

My New Page!

2007-08-19T15:57:00.001-07:00

Thanks for visiting my new page. I'm sorting out all the articles I've written in the past year or so for Associated Content. Please read and comment as you wish. Please comment! Seriously, did I mention I would love for you to comment? Like it? Say so! Don't like it? Say so.